I'm no master chef, but you might learn something here, and at the very least, you'll giggle.
What happens when I try the trick to peel an orange
Call it a DIY. Call it an easy craft. Call it Betty. I saw a video somewhere on the internet where it was supposed to be easy and quick to peel an orange if you cut the ends off. It’s supposed to roll out like the sleeping bag of fruits. I mean, that’s sort of what I got when I tried it… See the video for what happened. 🤦♀️🍊
It occurred to me that I had all the ingredients handy to make this sausage, egg & cheddar pizza from scratch. Just look at that crust, boys and girls. Get a closeup of those hearty breakfast toppings. Mmm. I learned after last time that you have to shore up the edges of the crust or you’re gonna have an egg river pretty quick. Oh and you butter those edges halfway into baking time so they get deliciously crunchy.
Here’s the recipe (give or take) …
This is 2 servings.
Two sausage patties go in the frying pan on medium low as you get out the other ingredients. You’ll chop/crumble the sausage up as it cooks while intermittently making the dough.
Preheat the oven to 375F.
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt in a mixing bowl.
3/4 cup self-rising flour (this ain’t no gluten-free recipe) into the bowl and mix it with a thing (fork, spoon, rubber spatula, hands…) You might need to add more or less flour, depending on how thick the yogurt is.
(stir your sausage)
Mash that dough bidness up good. You don’t want it sticky to the touch but not dry either. Got your dough ready? Spray pam/oil on a pizza sheet.
(stir your sausage)
Put your dough roll on the pan. Use a rolling pin or your fingers to push it flat into a crust. Shore up your edges so it makes a dam for your eggs when you put them in.
(stir your sausage and maybe turn it down or off by now)
Crack two large eggs in a measuring cup or coffee cup. Stir them up with a fork. Pour eggs into raw crust. Spread it around level, but keep it inside the dam. Pepper your eggs now if you want. You shouldn’t need salt because the sausage has plenty.
Now take that browned and crumbled sausage and sprinkle it on top of the eggs.
Next sprinkle about 2 tablespoons of shredded cheddar on top. (I know you’re going to put more. Whatever, I don’t care.)
The oven should be ready, so pop that pizza in there. Timer on 5 minutes.
Clean some dishes and countertop while you wait. (Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.)
At the bell/beep, take it out and brush some butter (or margarine, if you’re a heathen) on the crust edges. Put pizza back in for another 5 minutes.
DING! Take it out of the oven and get your jimmies rustled for some eye-rolling good eating.
Pretend you’re going to share it with someone, take a picture to post online, slice that booger up and inhale it like the breakfast dumpster you are. I’m very proud of you.
I saw a recipe video on Tik Tok and it looked really dang easy. I had all the ingredients in my refrigerator and the toaster too, of course. I am also not one to turn down a kweeza-deela.
You know what – side note: I know that “quesadilla” is pronounced kāsəˈdēyə, but that doesn’t erase the memory of that one time…
[flashback harp-strumming sound]
…that I went through a Tex-Mexican drive through restaurant and I got the giggles while ordering a “fuh-jeeta kweeza-deela and a choco taco.” The lady in the window got tired of me giggling really fast and refused to serve me. She just stopped talking to me. I even drove around to the window and there was no one to be seen.
I was so tired and hungry, but the fact they thought I was too weird to serve… only made me laugh more. I was still laughing and in tears and about to pee myself, but I wasn’t going inside the restaurant and have them call the police – because I can only assume you’re criminally stupid and definitely not just road weary if you pronounce the food wrong on purpose. My then-husband wasn’t too sure about me at that point either, but he at least thought it was funny.
Now about this TikTok video recipe…
You just get a tortilla and throw some cheese in it, close it like a bathrobe and then fold it up the other direction. If that doesn’t make sense, well then that’s why I have pictures, of course.
Here we go:
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Well. I didn’t have enough room in the pan for all the bacon strips so I tried the basket weave. Well it’s not a basket, but it is still bacon. Maybe toothpicks next time I try this.
Scroll down for recipes that worked, some that were just ok and other cooking related stuff from ShelliCooks.com!
You probably already have a good idea of one or two reasons to have a metal kettle in the kitchen to use for boiling water, instead of in a regular pot. But the very best reason may not have occurred to you.
It puts wiggle in a music note that synthesizers can only wish they were born with. Enjoy playing with your own kettle, and please send videos to our Messenger at Facebook.com/ShelliCooks!
I was at a friend’s house over the weekend and he taught me how to make pepperoni pizza at home, using yogurt and flour for the dough. I wanted to try and replicate his recipe, however, it was late in the day and my immediate goal was to eat, not to shop for groceries. The ingredients I had on-hand, however, substituted nicely to make a dessert.
His pizza used a cup of plain yogurt and 1 ½ cups of self-rising flour for the dough. I had yogurt with bits of strawberry in it – and it didn’t amount to a cup, but the fruit made it juicier, so I still needed 1 ½ cups of flour. He used tomato sauce, I used butter. He used mozzarella, I used cheddar. He used pepperonis, I used blueberries. Pictures of the process are below and here comes the recipe.
INGREDIENTS:
TOOLS:
VIVA LA INSTRUCTIONS:
First thing, turn the oven on to 400°F. It should be ready by the time you are. I started with this cute little cup of yogurt and fruit. You could change out the yogurt flavor, but I had strawberry, so that’s what happened. It was only 1/3 of a cup, but it was more liquid than plain yogurt, so I added 1 ½ cups of self-rising flour.
Mixing the yogurt and flour: I tried stirring it in this measuring cup with the rubber stir thing, but the flour started to poof out of the cup, so I went with a fork instead and that did the job nicely. Note the red plastic on the counter. This is what I use for a cutting board and for when I need to knead dough. Do you feel the need for knead?
I don’t have an in between picture, but I sprinkled extra flour onto the red plastic sheet and then used the rubber stir thing to rake all that bidness out of the cup and onto the flour. It doesn’t matter how much of this you do with utensils, you will end up get big blobs of dough on your fingers, so go ahead and fall in love with it.
Take a handful of blueberries and lob them on top. Fold the dough over itself two or three times, adding flour to it to make sure you don’t have wet parts. It should be similar to Play-doh, but it should definitely smell better.
Use the rolling pin to feel like a big fancy chef while you’re spreading out the dough. Be careful because you can pop a berry with that thing. If you don’t want berries to die, you can always spread the dough just using your hands. Don’t spread from edge to edge – just spread from the middle out. If you feel like you are going to have a psychedelic freakout because the edges are uneven, you can cup one hand on the outer edge while you spread the dough into it with the other hand.
Spray your cookie sheet with Pam or something like it (vegetable oil spray). To get the dough from the red plastic to the cookie sheet, I put the cookie sheet on top of the dough/plastic and then flipped the plastic over, so the pizza is now upside-down from what I had been looking at.
This butter and cheese part came as an afterthought, because the above effort was too naked to be pizza, not sweet enough to be cake and too flat to be a muffin. Slather on some soft butter with your fingers, then add a handful of shredded cheddar. Maybe you don’t normally think of cheese and fruit together, but imagine it as some guys that were on a party platter together one time and they decided to get together to make a jazz band.
Now that you have the raw pizza made up, your oven is probably up to 400 degrees, so put that feller in the box. Set the timer for 10 minutes. Note that I used a convection oven, so your time may be a little longer – like 12 minutes. Just be sure to check that the middle is done. You’re going to end up with this bad boy here. Plate it and survey its majesty. It’s still too hot for your human mouth.
After shaking off the magnetism of its beauty, grab the pizza cutter and slice it into sub-shapes that are acceptable to your brain’s organizational makeup.
Put a piece on a place with those taquitos you were making in the toaster oven this whole time. Eat one taquito and one piece of blueberry pizza before you take any pictures, to make it look like you eat less food than you really do.
Mmmmm…
This recipe was originally posted on MySaline.com on July 21, 2015.
I fried some pickles today and it’s a basic and yummy snack or side item. You don’t have to sit in a Choli’s or Appleboy’s restaurant to get these emerald-bellied cronchers.
Start with your favorite brands of corn meal, self-rising flour and sliced pickles. My favorite brand is el cheapo.
Before you start mixing stuff, turn on the deep fry thing. If you don’t have a deep fry thing, use a small pot and put an inch of oil in the bottom. Some folks use vegetable oil – I use olive oil. Anyway, get that stuff hot while you do these other things below.
Grab a small container – plastic ware with a lid or even a zippy sandwich baggy. Chuck in some each of cornmeal and flour. I don’t measure. Just consider how many pickles slices need to be covered. This is maybe a half cup each pictured.
Fork up some pickle slices and chuck them in there too. Mmmm pickles. It’s okay to eat a couple raw. I won’t tell.
Pop the lid on and shake those babies up. Shooka shooka shooka
Now you have what kinda looks like ugly Muppets. Like Oscar the Grouch, they are not tasty – yet.
Use the fork, padawan, to put the pickles in the fryer thing. It’s probably way hot by now, but you can test it by flicking a little water in there. Did it go TSSS? It’s hot. Dunk ’em.
Wait about 4-5 minutes and your pickles will be floating and golden. Some folks like them darker than gold. You do you.
Drain your crispy critters for uno momento whilst appreciating that the fry bucket now looks like a smiling snake with crooked, brown, pickly teeth.
Cascade the pickles on a fresh, bright paper towel (that means dump them out, y’all) and shake a little salt over the top. Add some ranch dressing if you desire. Charge your family $5.95 + tax and tip. Yummers. Here’s that money shot again:
One of my favorite meals is brats with yellow squash, zucchini, red bell pepper and sometimes rice. I know you’re thinking I’m about to tell you some long story regaling a rustic, romantic dreamscape whereupon my husband forgoes his football game in his starry-eyed devotion to my womanly qualities due to this intoxicating recipe, but no. I am divorced and my children are grown so I whipped up this tasty bidness to eat all by myself. And for the first time, I cooked only some of it in the skillet as usual, and the rest relaxed in the culinary desert that is the air fryer.
I already told you all the ingredients in the first sentence, except that I did put a sploot of olive oil in the skillet and some chicken seasoning on the veggies.
🎵 a sploot in the skillet and a silver spoon, little boy blue and the Man in the Moon… 🎵
With the gas stove on high, I put all five brats in the skillet to sear them. This was about a minute each side. Then I turned the fire down to medium-low. (Why does the word “medium” go first in both the phrases “medium-low” and “medium-high?”)
I had preheated the air fryer to 360 degrees Fahrenheit and I took two of the seared brats from the skillet and put them in the air fryer. I left the three other brats cooking in the pan but I waited on veggies before closing the air fryer to begin cooking the brats.
I quickly chopped up the vegetables like a dang boss (because who else is going to be the boss – I already told you I’m the only one here), sprinkled some seasoning on them, and split them between the skillet and the air fryer. It was almost *sneezoning* because I did have to achoo but that went in the other direction.
The air fryer whooped the booties of those brats and veggies in 10 minutes flat. Meanwhile the skillet needed closer to 18 minutes to do its duty.
The difference between the two end results on the plate is going to depend on your taste preference. The air fryer was quicker and gave the veggies a smoky taste but they were also a little drier than I would have liked. While eating, I ended up dabbing them in the brat juice to compensate. Hmm… Dabbing in the brat juice – there’s a joke in there somewhere about the temperament of elementary school kids.
You will remember that I put a sploot of olive oil in the pan. Maybe next time I put veggies in the air fryer, I will der spritzen beforehand. I learned all my Swedish from a Muppet chef – don’t act like you need a translator!
In the end, I made a happy plate, eating all the food from the air fryer, and I will surely eat the rest of it from the skillet tomorrow.
Got any questions? Leave a comment! Thanks for reading and following Shelli Cooks! I’m also on Facebook and Instagram.
My face when I’m starving but I’m only 12 pages into the 32-page air fryer operation manual. But then I find out the second half is just repeating it in Spanish:
One. Hour. Later.
My initial Air Fryer test is complete. Wildly entertaining video below.
Preheated fryer to 360°. Cut potato & soaked in cold water 30 min. (Soaked the potato, not me. That’s a summertime recipe you’re thinking of.) Covered in tiny amount of oil (about 1/2 a teaspoon) and salted them. Then I put them in the fryer for 25 minutes.
If raw potatoes and an air fryer are the only things you have around to cook with, then one hour may seem a little more acceptable to end up with this small amount of french fries. However, they were very tasty and now they are very gone.
I was in charge of deviled eggs for Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. I thought I’d prank my oldest son so I put wasabi in some of the deviled eggs. Well they turned out darn tasty and now I’m sad that I didn’t make more. 🥚🤷
Someone asked me how to make it. Well… you boil some eggs and peel them. Cut ’em in half, pick their li’l yellow tummies out and chuck that yellow in a mixing bowl. Line up the white parts real pretty on a plate or egg dish or whatever is necessary for the journey the eggs will eventually make. You don’t want any egg rollover. It’s just not pretty.
So next you use this row of stuff. Pickle relish, mayonnaise, mustard, and wasabi.
Here’s where it gets hazy. Or squirty I guess. I mean I just squirted some of each into the bowl of yellow tummies. It could be a delicate balance, but the bottom line is you need enough moisture in the mixture for the yellow stuff to stick when it gets spooned into the white stuff. But not so much that it can run off the spoon. And not so dry that a dear relative could get choked up and cough their dentures out. Just go slow with the squirts, mix it some and put in more if you need it.
Now that you have your innards, spoon it into the egg halves. You can put pepper on the tops or paprika or both. Yesssss delightful.
Wait. What do you mean you don’t know how to boil eggs? Ok I’ll tell you. But for this, I cook it longer than just regular boiled eggs. Because I like ’em soft like my own middle.
Okay, get a pot and bring it to the sink. Gently put your eggs in it. Put in enough water to cover your eggs. Next put in about 2 teaspoons of cooking oil. Put the pot on the stove on high. When the water boils, out a lid on the pot and leave it 5 minutes.
Take the pot to the sink and tip it to the side to drain out as much water as you can. That hot water is good to wash away all the junk in the sink that your weak little hands tried to scrub earlier. Now get some cold water in there from the sink. This and the cooking oil are so it’s easier to get that shell off.
When the cold water is drowning all your eggies, take them out one at a time and crack the shell on the side of the sink or on the pot. Crack it all the way around the egg. Next start peeling from the end of the egg and chuck the peel in the trash. When your eggs is naked, give him a shower in the faucet water to take away any leftover shell.
There ya go. Boiled eggies.
shellicooks 