I'm no master chef, but you might learn something here, and at the very least, you'll giggle.
What happens when I try the trick to peel an orange
Call it a DIY. Call it an easy craft. Call it Betty. I saw a video somewhere on the internet where it was supposed to be easy and quick to peel an orange if you cut the ends off. It’s supposed to roll out like the sleeping bag of fruits. I mean, that’s sort of what I got when I tried it… See the video for what happened. 🤦♀️🍊
It occurred to me that I had all the ingredients handy to make this sausage, egg & cheddar pizza from scratch. Just look at that crust, boys and girls. Get a closeup of those hearty breakfast toppings. Mmm. I learned after last time that you have to shore up the edges of the crust or you’re gonna have an egg river pretty quick. Oh and you butter those edges halfway into baking time so they get deliciously crunchy.
Here’s the recipe (give or take) …
This is 2 servings.
Two sausage patties go in the frying pan on medium low as you get out the other ingredients. You’ll chop/crumble the sausage up as it cooks while intermittently making the dough.
Preheat the oven to 375F.
1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt in a mixing bowl.
3/4 cup self-rising flour (this ain’t no gluten-free recipe) into the bowl and mix it with a thing (fork, spoon, rubber spatula, hands…) You might need to add more or less flour, depending on how thick the yogurt is.
(stir your sausage)
Mash that dough bidness up good. You don’t want it sticky to the touch but not dry either. Got your dough ready? Spray pam/oil on a pizza sheet.
(stir your sausage)
Put your dough roll on the pan. Use a rolling pin or your fingers to push it flat into a crust. Shore up your edges so it makes a dam for your eggs when you put them in.
(stir your sausage and maybe turn it down or off by now)
Crack two large eggs in a measuring cup or coffee cup. Stir them up with a fork. Pour eggs into raw crust. Spread it around level, but keep it inside the dam. Pepper your eggs now if you want. You shouldn’t need salt because the sausage has plenty.
Now take that browned and crumbled sausage and sprinkle it on top of the eggs.
Next sprinkle about 2 tablespoons of shredded cheddar on top. (I know you’re going to put more. Whatever, I don’t care.)
The oven should be ready, so pop that pizza in there. Timer on 5 minutes.
Clean some dishes and countertop while you wait. (Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.)
At the bell/beep, take it out and brush some butter (or margarine, if you’re a heathen) on the crust edges. Put pizza back in for another 5 minutes.
DING! Take it out of the oven and get your jimmies rustled for some eye-rolling good eating.
Pretend you’re going to share it with someone, take a picture to post online, slice that booger up and inhale it like the breakfast dumpster you are. I’m very proud of you.
I saw a recipe video on Tik Tok and it looked really dang easy. I had all the ingredients in my refrigerator and the toaster too, of course. I am also not one to turn down a kweeza-deela.
You know what – side note: I know that “quesadilla” is pronounced kāsəˈdēyə, but that doesn’t erase the memory of that one time…
[flashback harp-strumming sound]
…that I went through a Tex-Mexican drive through restaurant and I got the giggles while ordering a “fuh-jeeta kweeza-deela and a choco taco.” The lady in the window got tired of me giggling really fast and refused to serve me. She just stopped talking to me. I even drove around to the window and there was no one to be seen.
I was so tired and hungry, but the fact they thought I was too weird to serve… only made me laugh more. I was still laughing and in tears and about to pee myself, but I wasn’t going inside the restaurant and have them call the police – because I can only assume you’re criminally stupid and definitely not just road weary if you pronounce the food wrong on purpose. My then-husband wasn’t too sure about me at that point either, but he at least thought it was funny.
Now about this TikTok video recipe…
You just get a tortilla and throw some cheese in it, close it like a bathrobe and then fold it up the other direction. If that doesn’t make sense, well then that’s why I have pictures, of course.
Here we go:
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Well. I didn’t have enough room in the pan for all the bacon strips so I tried the basket weave. Well it’s not a basket, but it is still bacon. Maybe toothpicks next time I try this.
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I fried some pickles today and it’s a basic and yummy snack or side item. You don’t have to sit in a Choli’s or Appleboy’s restaurant to get these emerald-bellied cronchers.
Start with your favorite brands of corn meal, self-rising flour and sliced pickles. My favorite brand is el cheapo.
Before you start mixing stuff, turn on the deep fry thing. If you don’t have a deep fry thing, use a small pot and put an inch of oil in the bottom. Some folks use vegetable oil – I use olive oil. Anyway, get that stuff hot while you do these other things below.
Grab a small container – plastic ware with a lid or even a zippy sandwich baggy. Chuck in some each of cornmeal and flour. I don’t measure. Just consider how many pickles slices need to be covered. This is maybe a half cup each pictured.
Fork up some pickle slices and chuck them in there too. Mmmm pickles. It’s okay to eat a couple raw. I won’t tell.
Pop the lid on and shake those babies up. Shooka shooka shooka
Now you have what kinda looks like ugly Muppets. Like Oscar the Grouch, they are not tasty – yet.
Use the fork, padawan, to put the pickles in the fryer thing. It’s probably way hot by now, but you can test it by flicking a little water in there. Did it go TSSS? It’s hot. Dunk ’em.
Wait about 4-5 minutes and your pickles will be floating and golden. Some folks like them darker than gold. You do you.
Drain your crispy critters for uno momento whilst appreciating that the fry bucket now looks like a smiling snake with crooked, brown, pickly teeth.
Cascade the pickles on a fresh, bright paper towel (that means dump them out, y’all) and shake a little salt over the top. Add some ranch dressing if you desire. Charge your family $5.95 + tax and tip. Yummers. Here’s that money shot again:
One of my favorite meals is brats with yellow squash, zucchini, red bell pepper and sometimes rice. I know you’re thinking I’m about to tell you some long story regaling a rustic, romantic dreamscape whereupon my husband forgoes his football game in his starry-eyed devotion to my womanly qualities due to this intoxicating recipe, but no. I am divorced and my children are grown so I whipped up this tasty bidness to eat all by myself. And for the first time, I cooked only some of it in the skillet as usual, and the rest relaxed in the culinary desert that is the air fryer.
I already told you all the ingredients in the first sentence, except that I did put a sploot of olive oil in the skillet and some chicken seasoning on the veggies.
🎵 a sploot in the skillet and a silver spoon, little boy blue and the Man in the Moon… 🎵
With the gas stove on high, I put all five brats in the skillet to sear them. This was about a minute each side. Then I turned the fire down to medium-low. (Why does the word “medium” go first in both the phrases “medium-low” and “medium-high?”)
I had preheated the air fryer to 360 degrees Fahrenheit and I took two of the seared brats from the skillet and put them in the air fryer. I left the three other brats cooking in the pan but I waited on veggies before closing the air fryer to begin cooking the brats.
I quickly chopped up the vegetables like a dang boss (because who else is going to be the boss – I already told you I’m the only one here), sprinkled some seasoning on them, and split them between the skillet and the air fryer. It was almost *sneezoning* because I did have to achoo but that went in the other direction.
The air fryer whooped the booties of those brats and veggies in 10 minutes flat. Meanwhile the skillet needed closer to 18 minutes to do its duty.
The difference between the two end results on the plate is going to depend on your taste preference. The air fryer was quicker and gave the veggies a smoky taste but they were also a little drier than I would have liked. While eating, I ended up dabbing them in the brat juice to compensate. Hmm… Dabbing in the brat juice – there’s a joke in there somewhere about the temperament of elementary school kids.
You will remember that I put a sploot of olive oil in the pan. Maybe next time I put veggies in the air fryer, I will der spritzen beforehand. I learned all my Swedish from a Muppet chef – don’t act like you need a translator!
In the end, I made a happy plate, eating all the food from the air fryer, and I will surely eat the rest of it from the skillet tomorrow.
Got any questions? Leave a comment! Thanks for reading and following Shelli Cooks! I’m also on Facebook and Instagram.
I was in charge of deviled eggs for Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. I thought I’d prank my oldest son so I put wasabi in some of the deviled eggs. Well they turned out darn tasty and now I’m sad that I didn’t make more. 🥚🤷
Someone asked me how to make it. Well… you boil some eggs and peel them. Cut ’em in half, pick their li’l yellow tummies out and chuck that yellow in a mixing bowl. Line up the white parts real pretty on a plate or egg dish or whatever is necessary for the journey the eggs will eventually make. You don’t want any egg rollover. It’s just not pretty.
So next you use this row of stuff. Pickle relish, mayonnaise, mustard, and wasabi.
Here’s where it gets hazy. Or squirty I guess. I mean I just squirted some of each into the bowl of yellow tummies. It could be a delicate balance, but the bottom line is you need enough moisture in the mixture for the yellow stuff to stick when it gets spooned into the white stuff. But not so much that it can run off the spoon. And not so dry that a dear relative could get choked up and cough their dentures out. Just go slow with the squirts, mix it some and put in more if you need it.
Now that you have your innards, spoon it into the egg halves. You can put pepper on the tops or paprika or both. Yesssss delightful.
Wait. What do you mean you don’t know how to boil eggs? Ok I’ll tell you. But for this, I cook it longer than just regular boiled eggs. Because I like ’em soft like my own middle.
Okay, get a pot and bring it to the sink. Gently put your eggs in it. Put in enough water to cover your eggs. Next put in about 2 teaspoons of cooking oil. Put the pot on the stove on high. When the water boils, out a lid on the pot and leave it 5 minutes.
Take the pot to the sink and tip it to the side to drain out as much water as you can. That hot water is good to wash away all the junk in the sink that your weak little hands tried to scrub earlier. Now get some cold water in there from the sink. This and the cooking oil are so it’s easier to get that shell off.
When the cold water is drowning all your eggies, take them out one at a time and crack the shell on the side of the sink or on the pot. Crack it all the way around the egg. Next start peeling from the end of the egg and chuck the peel in the trash. When your eggs is naked, give him a shower in the faucet water to take away any leftover shell.
There ya go. Boiled eggies.
My tummy told me it was lunch o’clock, so I clocked out at International Headquarters. That means I walked from my home office to the kitchen. A brief inventory revealed meat and cheese but no bread. Old me would have decided to go to the grocery store and then ditched those plans en route, in favor of Burger King. New me Used-but-remodeled me whipped out the ingredients to make some pesto cheddar bread. Calm down, guys – it’s basically just fancy pizza crust. Continue reading “Pesto Cheddar Bread Makes a Savory Sammich”
Did you order pizza? We’re sorry, there’s no order here because… This! Is! ANARCHY PIZZAAAA!
Ok, I really just called it that because of how I cut it. And I really just cut it that way because I wanted to make one big pretty slice from the middle so I could take a picture. Then I thought a second about cutting a Continue reading “Anarchy Pizza?”
I made sausage biscuits where the sausage is part of the biscuit. Some cheddar too and it’s a beautiful thing.
To make these, it’s going to be very similar to my Sausage Balls recipe, but because of the shape, you can add things to the middle… An egg, some extra cheddar like I did this time or whatever you like.
The only difference here is that you’ll use a cupcake pan and baking a little lower and longer. That means 350F for 15-18 minutes, so you’re sure it’s done on the inside and just brown enough on the outside.
I just ate four of them for dinner. Y’all please don’t let my doctor see this post.
shellicooks 