eggs – shellicooks

This Breakfast Pizza is like the biscuit making a parking lot for your sausage & eggs. Or a trampoline. Or a beach?

It occurred to me that I had all the ingredients handy to make this sausage, egg & cheddar pizza from scratch. Just look at that crust, boys and girls. Get a closeup of those hearty breakfast toppings. Mmm. I learned after last time that you have to shore up the edges of the crust or you’re gonna have an egg river pretty quick. Oh and you butter those edges halfway into baking time so they get deliciously crunchy.

Here’s the recipe (give or take) …
This is 2 servings.

Two sausage patties go in the frying pan on medium low as you get out the other ingredients. You’ll chop/crumble the sausage up as it cooks while intermittently making the dough.

Preheat the oven to 375F.

1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt in a mixing bowl.

3/4 cup self-rising flour (this ain’t no gluten-free recipe) into the bowl and mix it with a thing (fork, spoon, rubber spatula, hands…) You might need to add more or less flour, depending on how thick the yogurt is.

(stir your sausage)

Mash that dough bidness up good. You don’t want it sticky to the touch but not dry either. Got your dough ready? Spray pam/oil on a pizza sheet.

(stir your sausage)

Put your dough roll on the pan. Use a rolling pin or your fingers to push it flat into a crust. Shore up your edges so it makes a dam for your eggs when you put them in.

(stir your sausage and maybe turn it down or off by now)

Crack two large eggs in a measuring cup or coffee cup. Stir them up with a fork. Pour eggs into raw crust. Spread it around level, but keep it inside the dam. Pepper your eggs now if you want. You shouldn’t need salt because the sausage has plenty.

Now take that browned and crumbled sausage and sprinkle it on top of the eggs.

Next sprinkle about 2 tablespoons of shredded cheddar on top. (I know you’re going to put more. Whatever, I don’t care.)

The oven should be ready, so pop that pizza in there. Timer on 5 minutes.

Clean some dishes and countertop while you wait. (Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.)

At the bell/beep, take it out and brush some butter (or margarine, if you’re a heathen) on the crust edges. Put pizza back in for another 5 minutes.

DING! Take it out of the oven and get your jimmies rustled for some eye-rolling good eating.

Pretend you’re going to share it with someone, take a picture to post online, slice that booger up and inhale it like the breakfast dumpster you are. I’m very proud of you.

Wasabi Eggs Backfired, But I’m OK With That

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I was in charge of deviled eggs for Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. I thought I’d prank my oldest son so I put wasabi in some of the deviled eggs. Well they turned out darn tasty and now I’m sad that I didn’t make more. 🥚🤷

Someone asked me how to make it. Well… you boil some eggs and peel them. Cut ’em in half, pick their li’l yellow tummies out and chuck that yellow in a mixing bowl. Line up the white parts real pretty on a plate or egg dish or whatever is necessary for the journey the eggs will eventually make. You don’t want any egg rollover. It’s just not pretty.

So next you use this row of stuff. Pickle relish, mayonnaise, mustard, and wasabi.

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Here’s where it gets hazy. Or squirty I guess. I mean I just squirted some of each into the bowl of yellow tummies. It could be a delicate balance, but the bottom line is you need enough moisture in the mixture for the yellow stuff to stick when it gets spooned into the white stuff. But not so much that it can run off the spoon. And not so dry that a dear relative could get choked up and cough their dentures out. Just go slow with the squirts, mix it some and put in more if you need it.

Now that you have your innards, spoon it into the egg halves. You can put pepper on the tops or paprika or both. Yesssss delightful.

Wait. What do you mean you don’t know how to boil eggs? Ok I’ll tell you. But for this, I cook it longer than just regular boiled eggs. Because I like ’em soft like my own middle.

Okay, get a pot and bring it to the sink. Gently put your eggs in it. Put in enough water to cover your eggs. Next put in about 2 teaspoons of cooking oil. Put the pot on the stove on high. When the water boils, out a lid on the pot and leave it 5 minutes.

Take the pot to the sink and tip it to the side to drain out as much water as you can. That hot water is good to wash away all the junk in the sink that your weak little hands tried to scrub earlier. Now get some cold water in there from the sink. This and the cooking oil are so it’s easier to get that shell off.

When the cold water is drowning all your eggies, take them out one at a time and crack the shell on the side of the sink or on the pot. Crack it all the way around the egg. Next start peeling from the end of the egg and chuck the peel in the trash. When your eggs is naked, give him a shower in the faucet water to take away any leftover shell.

There ya go. Boiled eggies.

The Perfect Boiled Egg Needs More Science

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Scientists, I need you to stop what you’re doing and figure out a thing to alert average folks that it’s the perfect time to take the eggs out of the boiling water. I did really well this time. I managed to get a pure yellow yolk – no green and not runny – and in the texture range smack between fudge and brownies. Oh man, to eat these things warm was a beautiful experience. You completely forget they came out of a chicken butt. Continue reading “The Perfect Boiled Egg Needs More Science”