Tag: flour

This Breakfast Pizza is like the biscuit making a parking lot for your sausage & eggs. Or a trampoline. Or a beach?

It occurred to me that I had all the ingredients handy to make this sausage, egg & cheddar pizza from scratch. Just look at that crust, boys and girls. Get a closeup of those hearty breakfast toppings. Mmm. I learned after last time that you have to shore up the edges of the crust or you’re gonna have an egg river pretty quick. Oh and you butter those edges halfway into baking time so they get deliciously crunchy.

Here’s the recipe (give or take) …
This is 2 servings.

Two sausage patties go in the frying pan on medium low as you get out the other ingredients. You’ll chop/crumble the sausage up as it cooks while intermittently making the dough.

Preheat the oven to 375F.

1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt in a mixing bowl.

3/4 cup self-rising flour (this ain’t no gluten-free recipe) into the bowl and mix it with a thing (fork, spoon, rubber spatula, hands…) You might need to add more or less flour, depending on how thick the yogurt is.

(stir your sausage)

Mash that dough bidness up good. You don’t want it sticky to the touch but not dry either. Got your dough ready? Spray pam/oil on a pizza sheet.

(stir your sausage)

Put your dough roll on the pan. Use a rolling pin or your fingers to push it flat into a crust. Shore up your edges so it makes a dam for your eggs when you put them in.

(stir your sausage and maybe turn it down or off by now)

Crack two large eggs in a measuring cup or coffee cup. Stir them up with a fork. Pour eggs into raw crust. Spread it around level, but keep it inside the dam. Pepper your eggs now if you want. You shouldn’t need salt because the sausage has plenty.

Now take that browned and crumbled sausage and sprinkle it on top of the eggs.

Next sprinkle about 2 tablespoons of shredded cheddar on top. (I know you’re going to put more. Whatever, I don’t care.)

The oven should be ready, so pop that pizza in there. Timer on 5 minutes.

Clean some dishes and countertop while you wait. (Or don’t. I’m not the boss of you.)

At the bell/beep, take it out and brush some butter (or margarine, if you’re a heathen) on the crust edges. Put pizza back in for another 5 minutes.

DING! Take it out of the oven and get your jimmies rustled for some eye-rolling good eating.

Pretend you’re going to share it with someone, take a picture to post online, slice that booger up and inhale it like the breakfast dumpster you are. I’m very proud of you.

Blueberry Cheddar Pizza with Yogurt Crust

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust

I was at a friend’s house over the weekend and he taught me how to make pepperoni pizza at home, using yogurt and flour for the dough. I wanted to try and replicate his recipe, however, it was late in the day and my immediate goal was to eat, not to shop for groceries. The ingredients I had on-hand, however, substituted nicely to make a dessert.

His pizza used a cup of plain yogurt and 1 ½ cups of self-rising flour for the dough. I had yogurt with bits of strawberry in it – and it didn’t amount to a cup, but the fruit made it juicier, so I still needed 1 ½ cups of flour. He used tomato sauce, I used butter. He used mozzarella, I used cheddar. He used pepperonis, I used blueberries. Pictures of the process are below and here comes the recipe.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1/3 cup yogurt with fruit
  • 1 ½ cups self-rising flour
  • handful o’ blueberries (fresh or frozen)
  • Pam or some kind of cookie sheet spray
  • 1 TBSP soft butter
  • handful o’ shredded cheddar

TOOLS:

  • measuring cup
  • fork
  • rubber stir thing (optional)
  • cutting board or clean counter top
  • rolling pin (optional)
  • cookie sheet
  • pizza cutter

VIVA LA INSTRUCTIONS:

First thing, turn the oven on to 400°F. It should be ready by the time you are. I started with this cute little cup of yogurt and fruit. You could change out the yogurt flavor, but I had strawberry, so that’s what happened. It was only 1/3 of a cup, but it was more liquid than plain yogurt, so I added 1 ½ cups of self-rising flour.

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust2

Mixing the yogurt and flour: I tried stirring it in this measuring cup with the rubber stir thing, but the flour started to poof out of the cup, so I went with a fork instead and that did the job nicely. Note the red plastic on the counter. This is what I use for a cutting board and for when I need to knead dough. Do you feel the need for knead?

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust3

I don’t have an in between picture, but I sprinkled extra flour onto the red plastic sheet and then used the rubber stir thing to rake all that bidness out of the cup and onto the flour. It doesn’t matter how much of this you do with utensils, you will end up get big blobs of dough on your fingers, so go ahead and fall in love with it.

Take a handful of blueberries and lob them on top. Fold the dough over itself two or three times, adding flour to it to make sure you don’t have wet parts. It should be similar to Play-doh, but it should definitely smell better.

Use the rolling pin to feel like a big fancy chef while you’re spreading out the dough. Be careful because you can pop a berry with that thing. If you don’t want berries to die, you can always spread the dough just using your hands. Don’t spread from edge to edge – just spread from the middle out. If you feel like you are going to have a psychedelic freakout because the edges are uneven, you can cup one hand on the outer edge while you spread the dough into it with the other hand.

Spray your cookie sheet with Pam or something like it (vegetable oil spray). To get the dough from the red plastic to the cookie sheet, I put the cookie sheet on top of the dough/plastic and then flipped the plastic over, so the pizza is now upside-down from what I had been looking at.

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust4
This butter and cheese part came as an afterthought, because the above effort was too naked to be pizza, not sweet enough to be cake and too flat to be a muffin. Slather on some soft butter with your fingers, then add a handful of shredded cheddar. Maybe you don’t normally think of cheese and fruit together, but imagine it as some guys that were on a party platter together one time and they decided to get together to make a jazz band.

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust5

Now that you have the raw pizza made up, your oven is probably up to 400 degrees, so put that feller in the box. Set the timer for 10 minutes. Note that I used a convection oven, so your time may be a little longer – like 12 minutes. Just be sure to check that the middle is done. You’re going to end up with this bad boy here. Plate it and survey its majesty. It’s still too hot for your human mouth.

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust

After shaking off the magnetism of its beauty, grab the pizza cutter and slice it into sub-shapes that are acceptable to your brain’s organizational makeup.

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust6

Put a piece on a place with those taquitos you were making in the toaster oven this whole time. Eat one taquito and one piece of blueberry pizza before you take any pictures, to make it look like you eat less food than you really do.

blueberry cheddar pizza yogurt crust7

Mmmmm…

This recipe was originally posted on MySaline.com on July 21, 2015.

How to Make Fried Pickles – a.k.a. Emerald-bellied Cronchers

I fried some pickles today and it’s a basic and yummy snack or side item. You don’t have to sit in a Choli’s or Appleboy’s restaurant to get these emerald-bellied cronchers.

Start with your favorite brands of corn meal, self-rising flour and sliced pickles. My favorite brand is el cheapo.

Before you start mixing stuff, turn on the deep fry thing. If you don’t have a deep fry thing, use a small pot and put an inch of oil in the bottom. Some folks use vegetable oil – I use olive oil. Anyway, get that stuff hot while you do these other things below.

Grab a small container – plastic ware with a lid or even a zippy sandwich baggy. Chuck in some each of cornmeal and flour. I don’t measure. Just consider how many pickles slices need to be covered. This is maybe a half cup each pictured.

Fork up some pickle slices and chuck them in there too. Mmmm pickles. It’s okay to eat a couple raw. I won’t tell.

Pop the lid on and shake those babies up. Shooka shooka shooka

Now you have what kinda looks like ugly Muppets. Like Oscar the Grouch, they are not tasty – yet.

Use the fork, padawan, to put the pickles in the fryer thing. It’s probably way hot by now, but you can test it by flicking a little water in there. Did it go TSSS? It’s hot. Dunk ’em.

Wait about 4-5 minutes and your pickles will be floating and golden. Some folks like them darker than gold. You do you.

Drain your crispy critters for uno momento whilst appreciating that the fry bucket now looks like a smiling snake with crooked, brown, pickly teeth.

Cascade the pickles on a fresh, bright paper towel (that means dump them out, y’all) and shake a little salt over the top. Add some ranch dressing if you desire. Charge your family $5.95 + tax and tip. Yummers. Here’s that money shot again:

It’s a biscuit. It’s a boat. It’s Sausage Biscuit Boats.

 

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I made sausage biscuits where the sausage is part of the biscuit. Some cheddar too and it’s a beautiful thing.

To make these, it’s going to be very similar to my Sausage Balls recipe, but because of the shape, you can add things to the middle… An egg, some extra cheddar like I did this time or whatever you like.

The only difference here is that you’ll use a cupcake pan and baking a little lower and longer. That means 350F for 15-18 minutes, so you’re sure it’s done on the inside and just brown enough on the outside.

I just ate four of them for dinner. Y’all please don’t let my doctor see this post.

Cheese Pizza in a Casserole Dish (video)

pizza casserole dish thumbnail

This time I took care to actually make a video of myself cooking one-handed . I don’t know if this is a good thing or not. You definitely see how it’s done, but umm… you also see my own personal process, and that means you will witness some surprises that I did not anticipate, as well as the fact that I make puppets out of various cooking instruments.

Continue reading “Cheese Pizza in a Casserole Dish (video)”

The Balls of Sausage

A.K.A. Sausage Balls

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I had sausage balls for lunch, y’all. It’s super easy and crazy yummy. This can be that thing you bring to parties and potlucks that makes people roll their eyes and grab at the air while they chew. (Note: This could also mean they’re choking.) Continue reading “The Balls of Sausage”