Tag: Sandwich

Toasterdilla – I tried a TikTok recipe

I saw a recipe video on Tik Tok and it looked really dang easy. I had all the ingredients in my refrigerator and the toaster too, of course. I am also not one to turn down a kweeza-deela.
You know what – side note: I know that “quesadilla” is pronounced kāsəˈdēyə, but that doesn’t erase the memory of that one time…
[flashback harp-strumming sound]
…that I went through a Tex-Mexican drive through restaurant and I got the giggles while ordering a “fuh-jeeta kweeza-deela and a choco taco.” The lady in the window got tired of me giggling really fast and refused to serve me. She just stopped talking to me. I even drove around to the window and there was no one to be seen.
I was so tired and hungry, but the fact they thought I was too weird to serve… only made me laugh more. I was still laughing and in tears and about to pee myself, but I wasn’t going inside the restaurant and have them call the police – because I can only assume you’re criminally stupid and definitely not just road weary if you pronounce the food wrong on purpose. My then-husband wasn’t too sure about me at that point either, but he at least thought it was funny.
Now about this TikTok video recipe…
You just get a tortilla and throw some cheese in it, close it like a bathrobe and then fold it up the other direction. If that doesn’t make sense, well then that’s why I have pictures, of course.
Here we go:

Here’s all the stuff. Cheddar, mozzarella, I added smoked turkey, and definitely a big ol’ tortilla. (Hey if your aunt was a tortoise, would you call her Tor Tia?)
I threw some cheese on the tortilla. it’s all the same color in the pic but zoom in or something, I don’t know.
I threw some turkey on it.
I threw some different cheese on it.
Time to close the bathrobe.
And fold her up.
Cram that naughty girl in the toaster.
That last part sounded violent or creepy or something so gently press the toaster button until it clicks. Why am I telling you how to work a toaster? If you don’t know that by now, I probably can’t help you with much else.
I set the 🤎brownness dial🤎 to “medium” because I was afraid of burning my tortoise aunt.
This second picture of the thing in the toaster is because one ride did not make a quesadilla. It made a warmish wrap.
Stepping off of the second ride through yonder toaster, I got some nice grill marks and gooey cheese. This right here is a quesadilla, friends. I even felt it was worthy of sharing with my homies in the group chat.
This last picture looks like something out of a medical journal, but I needed to show you that melty melty cheese.


Scroll down for recipes that worked, some that were just ok and other cooking related stuff from ShelliCooks.com!

It was supposed to be chili, but Sloppy José I guess

Sloppy Jose 20191111_210243

Step 1. Brown some ground beef and put in all your secret spices that everyone else also uses to make chili, then remember you don’t have tomatoes and it’s too cold to go to the store.

Step 2. Sit down and pout even though you know it’s your fault for not finding all the ingredients before starting.

3. Put the beef in a plastic container and swear you’re going to add tomatoes and beans tomorrow.

4. Continue to be hungry for chili, because of course you took a taste and now it’s got you in its grip.

5. Decide you’re smarter than people who can’t have fun without tomatoes.

6. Put the greasy pan back on the fire.

7. Throw in some shredded mozzarella because the cheddar is in the freezer. Jesus now has the wheel.

8. Search the fridge for divine inspiration. Wasabi? No. Pickles? No. Leftover Tacos 4 Life sauce from a faded rice bowl in the rearview mirror of your heart? YES!

9. The mozz is changing shape so scoop a sloppy joe’s worth of beef over it and use a spatula to push out rows in the beef like you’re about to plant seeds for next year’s soybean harvest.

10. Shake that tiny T4L sauce cup like the spray paint can dedicated to your next misdemeanor then only splash a little on the beef because that stuff is gold and you’re lonely but not desperate.

11. Pinky-groom your eyebrows and think about the time you and your friends made up that dance to Leif Garrett’s “I Was Made for Dancin” and blame your lack of fame and fortune on the one kid who wanted to be a team player but only liked country music.

12. Barrel a rolling pin across two slices of wheat bread that came from a bag with a Disney character on it because you also don’t have tortillas in the house, you absolute Yugo of a human.

13. That mozz is brown and cronchy by now but the spatula isn’t your friend for a cheese flip. Unless you like so many folds in your sammich it books an Oktoberfest gig and starts stretching out to play The Chicken Dance. Just pick up the pan and pour everything on your now-flat bread. Smash the lid on top (for y’all playing at home, that’s the other piece of bread).

14. Get out the pizza cutter so you will have dirtied at least 10 dishes at this point. That’s how you know you’re a genius chef.

15. Eat the first triangle and bend your knees while yelling “GOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLL!” You know why.

16. Stack the other 3 triangles and charge them $50 for a photographic sitting fee.

17. Eat the 2nd triangle while you edit the photo.

18. Eat the last 2 while you post nonsense to Facebook.

19. Wonder how it’s possible you’re single.

20. Nap in the recliner.