Scientists, I need you to stop what you’re doing and figure out a thing to alert average folks that it’s the perfect time to take the eggs out of the boiling water. I did really well this time. I managed to get a pure yellow yolk – no green and not runny – and in the texture range smack between fudge and brownies. Oh man, to eat these things warm was a beautiful experience. You completely forget they came out of a chicken butt.
This egg looks huge, but it’s just average size. You know about camera angles making things look bigger, right? It’s not the size really, but if you know how to use your egg. But back to my plight.
I don’t always make the perfect boiled eggs. I sure try, but stove tops vary, egg sizes vary, the amount of water makes a difference and also whether or not you get a phone call in the middle of this and lose track of time. I KNOW science folks have been working on boiled eggs. I haven’t looked it up to properly research it (or even Googled) but I KNOW. They can’t not have. Eggs are in too plenty supply to shirk your sciencey sciency scientifical duty on ways to make them part of the master race of foods that come out of bird hineys.
What I’m hoping is that someone will come up with a magic button that pops up like on turkeys that are roasting. Or… make the shells change colors when the eggs are ready. Cameras are getting smaller, there has to be a way. For now though, I have boiled a magical batch and I’ll just be hoping for the same thing to happen next time.
I used a medium pot, 3 inches of water, a tablespoon of vegetable oil and 5 eggs. I put everything on the gas flame on high and set the timer for 13 minutes and 7 seconds. Not 15 minutes, because listen to me. Pretend I’m holding your face with both hands at your jawline. I set the microwave timer to 11:11 and then it only started boiling officially when I had like 1:37 left. So I stopped the timer and added 3:33. But you have to deduct the 1:37 and add on the 4 seconds to stop it and reset it. Please tell me if my math is wrong, because I’d like to do these perfect eggs again, but 13:07 is what I got. And until science prevails I have to remember that number.
shellicooks 
Perfect eggs: Place eggs in COLD water in a single layer in your pot. Cover with about 1 inch of cold water. No more. Bring to a a rolling boil. Immediately remove from heat and set timer for 12 minutes. Beautiful eggs 🙂
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